Journeys : Episode 14

Tara

"I thought the bad thoughts will go away with me. I didn't want them bothering me anymore, I couldn't take it. I thought everything will be over. I'm sorry Amma Im sorry Appa". I hold him tight, stroking his back. Hridhay has his hands wrapped around me and we are giving Adi the warmth no words can give. From somewhere I hear Kathir and Shravya laughing at KP's jokes. I want to close my eyes and just freeze time, not because we are in the best of times, but because the worst is over and behind us, and we have some answers with us. We have a whole life to look forward to. All of us will heal and be back to normal but for now, the conversation needs to be completed. Hridhay holds my hand and nudges me so he can talk.

"Adi, always remember, we will stand by your choices. All of us have gone through this phase of raging hormones, we didnt turn into adults from nowhere. What is important is for yourself to stand by the choices you make. You have to be strong enough for what you choose. Your body tells you what is right what is wrong, your brain acts in accordance to it. So if you feel something is right, then be firm and believe in it. And when you believe in anything strongly, we are with you. No matter what the world says" adi's shoulders ease now. Hridhay continues "and about the bad thoughts, once you find your happy space, they all go away. I know badminton was your life, its going to take time to get back, but keep working on your physiotherapy. Focus. For now, you need to recover Adi."

Adi looks at Hridhay and gives a weak nod. Finally, the mother in me spoke. "Adi, i dont know why you are not comfortable talking to us, whatever it is, I respect that. But you have Kathir. It is not about if he would understand or not, it is about Kathir listening to you and maybe he will learn to think in different perspectives. He adores you and he cant stay a moment without you. So please dont bottle things up, just talk. Will you Adi?" He gives me a weak nod again. "We trust you Adi" Hridhay walks to him and takes him upstairs.

End of the day, if you ask me if I'm happy or sad, honestly I cant say. One word is I am relieved. That we got answers for whatever we looked for and we know the way ahead. Whether its going to be easy or tough is a different conversation, but one thing is we've got each others backs and that keeps us going. I hear loud noises and the party minus Adi are walking down. Shravya runs to me and gives me a hug, a peck on Kathir's cheek and announces "Amma tells me we are going to America next week."