Its been a two weeks since I got back to work and finally back home we have a new routine in place. Im healing every day every minute, and the people around me help me heal. I'm at the kitchen helping Kannamma and somehow I cant resist myself from bringing this conversation up. "Kannamma, did it never ever strike you to go looking for him?" She looks at me, wipes a sweat bead off her forehead and smiles, shaking her head. "But why not?" I keep poking her, although I know I'm invading into a deep personal space. She doesnt answer me, she continues what she is doing and I move away. This is the time of social media and every now and then I read stories of people being found. I know he's going to have a family, moved on in life, but if he did feel the same way about her the way she does for him.... my thought wavers. I get ready and hear KP parking his car.
We pick our bags, say goodbye to the boys and leave. Somehow I look forward to the morning ride to work. Few days we drive in silence and the rest of the days we keep talking without stopping, but the thing is, the silence is no longer uncomfortable. "So KP, if you want to go back to one part of your lifetime, which one is it? Just one." He looks at me giving me one of his ever radiant smile "school obviously". "Whats obvious in that?" "Because school paves way for all firsts and those things just don't leave our hearts right. First teacher, first punishment, first best friend, first gang, first crush, first heartbreak... school gives us all these memories. I would want to go back to school and live through all of these again. Like the world depended only on these little things."
"So you want to shy away from responsibility, dont you KP?" I laugh. "Judge me all you want, but thats my answer. I dont know about you, but to me, my most memorable moments are all from school. And they always make me smile. It is always easy to continue a friendship from school after years of silence, have you ever wondered why?" "Yes I do. Maybe because they have seen the most obnoxious side of us and nothing in us can get more gross growing up?" "Ha ha. That too. I feel its because our school friendships are more unconditional, bare minimum expectations out of each other. As we grow, the number of friends that turn into friendship reduce, and finally we stop making friends. So I want to go back to school where my friends ceased to grow up and be myself for a little while longer" "but KP, with experience and age, dont we grow more open? Our thoughts and ideas, shouldnt it be more easier to make friends?"
"Thats the logical way of life we think. But fact is, we get more closed as we grow old. We can accept thoughts, ideas and even drastic changes in the way of our living, but when it comes to taking people into confidence, we remain our same old judgmental selves." We reach and I get down from the car and say goodbye to him, letting our conversation linger. To be honest to myself, I feel better during the car ride, feel refreshed, but during the three minute walk I take from his building to mine, thats peace. "Hey Tara, will you go for dinner with me this weekend? Or next? Or whenever?" I look at him, with a blank expression. "You can answer later, whenever you feel like and whatever you feel like". I nod my head and hold on to my backpack tightly. As I walk along, the sound of birds chirping makes me smile, makes me want to whsitle my favourite tune and the wind blowing across my face, caress my cheeks conversing with my heart a million unsaid conversations. I reach my desk, pull out my phone, and my instinct types "Hey KP, are you free for dinner this weekend?". I put my phone back into the draw, open my laptop and immerse my head into a day long madness. Or at least I thought I did.
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