Who am I?

I am not an obedient daughter that I am defined to be, I rebel many a times, sometimes without reason, sometimes quite pragmatic, sometimes in between; 

I am not a benchmark mom that people glorify me to be, there have been days I have given up not knowing what to do, not knowing what is right, somedays knowing what to do and just not been able to;

I am not that sister that comes with a tag, there are days of silence, days that I have failed in what I should have been;  

I am not a true friend, I have my insecurities about being loved too much, about being trusted too much, about having not been able to give enough when needed, that most of the times makes me wonder;  

I am not a dutiful wife, I believe in space, in different definitions for togetherness, in different dreams, in different vows; 

Then who am I?

I am my blemished past, those nights that I stay awake & most of the days try just try to get up from bed; 

I am the faulty decisions I make, not because I want to fail, but because I want to be independent and try,

I am the freckles on my face, that I can only wish them away,

I am my body, of too broad shoulders, of being lanky & of hair that simply wouldn't obey,

I am also my confidence, that makes me wake up the next day & takes me forward,

I am also my will, that despite failing a myriad times, never am shy of trying all over again,

I am the choices I make & the way I stand by them despite failing, 

I am my heart, that loves too much, gives too much, tries too much most of the times, not because it is needed, but because I want to,

I am my dreams, maybe to unrealistic, too overboard, too radical, too revolutionary, but heck that is what dreams are meant to be, to me

I am a manufacturing defect, not striving to be perfect, but just trying to find little purpose

I'm not a daughter, not a mother, not a sister, not a friend, not a wife. I am me, I am myself, having an identity independent of everything else. 

Cheers,

Hopie