Journeys : Episode 9

KP

Im glad the Eid holidays are over. What a week it has been. With Adi and Tara at the hospital and the Atlanta migration plans. Tara isnt going to be at work for three months. Who will bring breakfast for me? Doesnt she realise? On top of being alone at home, its going to be solitude at work too. Big deal. I need to inform my boss i'll be moving out so he can look for someone to fill my place. My work has been everything for me. A world where I grew up, met people, tried new things and was being encouraged to keep trying although I failed. A world where I was myself. And I have to let it go. The empire I built, or was it a fortress? I always thought that day would be the hardest but strange that life always puts things in perspective for you.

And as for Shravya, everything will have been made ready for the travel. All I have to do is go to the airport, stick my face on to the glass walls and shout goodbye like she can hear it. Why did I become so needless for everyone? I dont want to dwell on that. I have made my choice. I will join them in nine months and probably my life's next set of mistakes will begin there. So I can regret them for the rest of the life that is remaining. Im glad I can shut my mind voice now because I'm ready to go. I just need to find the keys. Oh who's ringing the bell now? "Happy birthday KP..!" And Hridhay gives me a hug. And that instant everything in my mind is cleansed. I clean my eyes to look at Tara and I cant believe my eyes. She's frail, her eyes dark and there seems to be a constant loop running in the back of her mind. "Hey Tara, you ok?" "Yeah. Sort of. Ive been better though"

"How's Adi?" "Dee sent someone to help us. She is going to stay here for sometime with us. Her name is kannamma. She is God sent. She cooks, reads tamil books for the kids and the house smells like home always." "Tara needs to rest. Also she has started going for counselling. We needed someone at home". Looking at them, my problems seem so small. So insignificant. I am so glad Tara didnt have to see Adi shudder in pain every night even without him realising it. And how tears used to roll out of his eyes. I used to hate that Tara had to fall sick at the same time. But then, trauma affects people so differently. For some, its mometary and for some its perennial. I dont know where Tara is but I wish she gets better.

"So KP, come home for dinner. You should meet Kannamma.. and the boys are eager to meet you too. Can you bring Shravya along?" Hridhay is a bright man. He knows what questions to ask. "Yes. We will be there". I lock the door and leave for work. Now is not the time to talk to Hridhay and Tara about my Atlanta plans. I get the engine revving, and yet my legs dont take me forward. Right now, there are more things pulling me backward than forward, and there are even more things that make me want to stay put.