Journeys : Episode 8

KP

I run out of the restaurant, leaving everything behind, only few words reverberating in my ears. I cant believe she hasnt told me about this. Isnt Shravya ours? Should I not be consulted before such decisions are made? I pick out a cigarette from my pocket and try to exhale all the anger within. When was she planning to tell me? After reaching the airport? Or did she plan to call me from Atlanta? I want to call her and yell at her, but somehow I overcome the urge. I cannot lose Shravya. I need her.

One of those situations where I'm caught. Neither can go forward nor backward. I just need to focus. I cannot decide things in haste. Breathe Prashanth breathe. Ok I'm going to call Geetha. "Hey Geetha, I need to talk to you" "im all ears, tell me?". My blood begins to boil, but I need to shut the emotion out. I need a conversation. A proper adult conversation. "I need to meet you, what plans do you have today?" "I'm going out in the evening. Can you come home for lunch?" Home. Somewhere between falling in love and falling apart, the word home just lost its meaning to me. "Yes il be there".

As I tug into her place, familiar smells awaken me. No Prashanth. Focus. Now is not the time to dwell in the past. Its over and you've moved on. Yes uncomfortably over. We can no longer get back, just because her jeera rice and chole smells so authentic. I should probably hire a cook and be done. She opens the door with a normal smile and the house looks cleaner than ever. "Does Shravya even live here?" She laughs at me. We settle down on the couch talking of normal things (in such a normal life we have between us). "So KP. I need to talk to you". "Of course you do. After I call you and fix this, you have to talk to me. You dont have a choice." "Listen KP, Shravya and I are moving to Atlanta. This role is something that I've been after for years, finally the opportunity has sunk in. I applied and I got it. "

I actually want to slap her, but I keep going back to the fact that I came here for a conversation. "So what am I supposed to do? Didnt we agree on a shared custody of Shravya? So how can you just distance me from her?" "OK listen. There is an opening for your profile too. But the thing is the guy is on rolls for another nine months. You can apply and Il give you a referral. You can come later. I can give you the details" "are you crazy? Should I leave my hard earned career here and just come behind you? This is what you always want right?" "See KP, I'm just giving you choices. Up to you to take them."

Choices. Sometimes I wonder if we are ever presented with the right choices in life. I wonder if most times we are blinded by prejudices, of the people around us and mostly our own. As long as everything is okay, there are no questions. The moment just one thing falls out of place kicking a chain reaction, we get reminded of our fundamentals, of the fundamental conscious choices we have made in life. And how obviously wrong they are and they can never be repaired. We have a quiet lunch, exchange some niceties and I get back home. Home again. I open the door and enter into walls of bricks. Nothing to see, no familiar smells in the air, no sounds or conversations to follow, no one to touch me, to tell me that everything is going to be okay, although it may sound very empty. I sink into my recliner, close my eyes and let go of all the emotions I've been holding all these years. I dont know when the tears ceased, but then I found myself looking for my mobile and sending a single text. Il take it.