Journeys : Episode 3

Tara

I take my cycle in search of the boys and to summon them home, we need to leave for dinner. After fifteen minutes of cycling, I find them at the farthest open gym, Kathir messing with the elliptical and Adi sitting down on the lawn. Adi looked a lot better, and I am always at awe looking at what they share. Although I have a sibling, what twins share is just magical, and right from the time they could recognize each other as human beings, they have always been able to cheer each other. "Come, we're going out for dinner " i shout out. We cycle back together, Adi still silent. Hridhay comes home and Adi walks to him and puts his head down. I open my kindle just to give the men the space they need, but i desperately need to overhear. "Pa Aarnav is leaving, he's not coming back" and tears roll down his cheeks. Hridhay wipes out his tears and looks him in the eye. "What matters is not where he is going or that he's not coming back, what matters is the good times you had and those memories. No one can take that away from you right?" Is that good enough for a ten year old, I wonder. "But I cannot have another friend, I just want him, I feel very sad". "See Adi, the best thing is, you did not split on differences, so if both of you are strong enough, maybe years down the lane, you guys can catch up where you left. I have two such friends" Adi's eyes get a little brighter, he jumps to the bathroom and begins to change. We all get ready and leave for dinner.

We reach the restaurant and find KP already there. Hes holding two books in his hands. The boys run to him, gives them one each and walks to fix Hridhay's collar. This is something unique between them, and I think of how KP is used to being held by Geetha and he misses that- he needs human touch and Hridhay is the last person who would give you that. We have a quiet dinner and the boys leave to play at the adjacent play area. There is awkward silence and Hridhay breaks it "hey KP, why dont you start badminton for shravya where Adi plays? Adi adores his coach, and he's very good, would you want to?" KP brings his thoughts into focus "thats a very good idea! This means I get extra time to be with Shrav! Lets do this!" Finally there was some excitement in KP's voice. I felt this was good for Adi too, so atleast a miniscule portion of the void left by Aarnav can be filled by Shravya. "When I think of all the things that happened, I feel I've just been blind to the things happening around me. Geetha becoming more busy at work and distancing herself from me, avoiding holiday trips, more arguments and the times I said we will not talk in front of Shravya and how those conversations got lost, and finally how her mere presence was uncomfortable for me. One minute everything seemed just right, just perfect and the next minute reality comes crashing in. Yes splitting was the right thing, but I miss Shravya so much". Somehow this lost love is beyond comprehension for me. Especially KP and Geetha. I remember how they fell in love, to me it seemed more an instinct, a reflex that they got together- everything was so perfect and getting together was just the right thing. Marriage changes people, some better some worse. But what exactly is better and worse is left to the beholder. Nothing is right or wrong, its one's own perspective. And no one has the right to judge.

Each of us sit down, engulfed in our own whirlwind of thoughts and Hridhay breaks it "KP, I might sound very harsh but you need to look ahead. You have a whole life ahead of you, today is not the end. Think ahead. Not that everything works with our plans but we have to continue making them. You need to move on. Take a road trip, fly around the world, go incognito if you want, but heal and move on". I have many reasons to love Hridhay and one of them is the respect he has for everyone- that everyone needs a personal space, a world of their own where they find peace. "KP, its important you find life for yourself, like what Hridhay says, you need to be at peace. And moreover, it cant be that everytime Shravya comes to stay with you, you keep dreading the time shes gonna leave." I had to say this. We cant always look at the future and sulk at how empty it is. We need joy in our lives and we need to grab opportunities that give us exactly that. He looks at both of us, his eyes getting clearer, he takes a deep breath and holds both our hands tightly. Not at all times do we need words.