Freelance : As we exchange good byes

One of the most difficult moment is to say goodbye to someone we have lived with. As we look back the last three years, fond memories gush in. Those nights and endless days that we toiled together, those storms that we shifted course with your guidance, the unconditional happiness that we gifted to a couple of hundred families, those silent tears that we let go together. Today we are strong from what we learnt from you. How we learnt to be patient and composed at the times of crisis, how to be focused on what we do and how to sport a smile always for we knowingly or unknowingly influence the days of people who hop in for a while into our lives.
Today, as you move away from our family, we wish the best for you. A life of cheer, good health, peace of mind so that you re create the magic wherever you go.
No matter what we say, we cannot find enough synonyms to express what we feel right now, so lets simply put it - we'll miss you.
With love from all of us.

Infinite innocence

Our trip to bangalore the last couple of days has given me the opportunity to be with two sets of twins around. A pair of them at 4Y and our boys at 10M. Yes it was exciting to be in the presence of two four year olds - the never ending questions that you cannot answer lightly, the fight for attention, the unconditional cuddling, the demand for perfection. I was amazed at how different their choices were and how nature shapes up our choices so young. Macho varun with his passion for machines and pinky varsha with her girlish picks.
I still cannot forget their argument that we should not leave - a dead lock - no matter what we said it would come back to the beginning. Two sweet incidents that i thought would be a nice memory to pen down.

Varun - vidhya chithi innikki avyukth akshath a oorukku kooti poporiyaa? Aamaam kanna. Velila rain clouds vardhu. Nee pogaadha. I was amazed at how he was trying to get me logically. .... and yes i lost. I just hugged him.

Varsha - she came running to me with her set of story books and we reached the very beautifully pictured ugly duckling story book. Once upon a time there was a duck. She laid seven eggs. When they hatched, six of them were beautiful and one was ugly. Thats when she stops me and looks at me - one of those perfect whatsapp frownies. "Aana vidhaa chithi adhu uglyaave illaye ayga dhaane irukku? " my eyes instantly welled up.

So pure. So unconditional. So straight from the heart. So truly kind. So infinitely innocent.

Hope the innocence never leaves them.

Cheers,
Hopie

When the going gets tough, the annoyance gets going!

The last couple of months have been quite a lot for us to take... being confined in a hospital room for two months. ..  having a preterm delivery.. seeing our babies struggle for life.. bringing up preterms...  on top of the struggle itself, what we have always found challenging is to cope up with questions from people around... a couple of typical questions and must-have-been answers is what this post is about... NOTE : it's entirely up to your discretion to term this post as real or fictitious and I am not responsible for what you decide 😉

Confinement...

"Stay at the hospital till u deliver? The hospital is completely money minded ". "Sure is. They make one billion a day and our 2000 bucks surely is a lot "
"Have they prescribed any diet? " " yes. I can eat EVERYTHING"
"You have to walk a lot and exercise instead of lying down like this , only then normal delivery is possible. ""Don't you understand, that is precisely what they are trying to prevent? "

Testing times...

"Tell the doctors you have to breastfeed the babies right away because it is good for their health" "yes I will. Can you send me your certificate of neonatology meanwhile?"
"Give toys to the babies... it helps them feel positive and happy" "they have a couple of toys already.. IV lines, OG tubes and what not"
"Are they moving their hands and legs and actively playing? " "yes. Only yesterday did he pull off the breathing tube"
"OMG, your babies have already been in the NICU for two months? Time flies..!" "Yes. At the rate of sixty mins per hour and twenty four hours per day. We've been counting every second and its right"

Growing up...
"Pasanga color konjam kammi dhaan"."so sad. were u expecting the entire vibgyor?"
"Ten months old? Does your kid sit down by himself?". "Sure does. He also goes for work. His name is Prem"
"Has your baby done anything special in the last months that you can share with us?" "They fed through their nose for couple of weeks. Can you do it?"
..on avyukth's patch on the head
"Was that where both of them were conjoined and they had to be operated upon?" Even before i understood the question I found myself saying yes.

....and the most difficult and painful one
"Atleast one baby is fine right, whyre you worrying? "
I am not able to mock this question for it hurts still. Just the same.

How painful it was to explain to people while we were already going through hell. To explain why I was lying upside down while all I wanted was to flaunt my baby bump. To explain why our boys had to be in intensive care while I'd have given anything to hold them that very minute. To explain why we were silent to each other only because we didnt want to spell out our deepest fear. To explain the difference of a baby growing inside the womb and outside - although the god sent people recreated the wonder. To explain how avyukth leaned on an inch of his skin for a month and only that kept him breathing. To explain how we didnt want any of this.

I humbly ask you for a favour - if you cannot help them, dont call them. PERIOD.

I dont know how to end this post. As always, we are thankful to HIM for blessing us with the strength to endure and take us through a rough couple of months. For having given us the strength to look back and ridicule yet respect every moment of what we went through.

Thank YOU.

Cheers,
Hopie
NB: I hope you're working on what I ask you always though.

Utopia : Midnight : Part 1

Disclaimer : I choose to name the stage around my story 'Utopia' to simply not exhibit my weakness in Geography - For Utopia is like infinity - to each ones own definition. Thankfully.

Surrounded by Lush green mountains that brought the smell of fresh tea leaves with every breeze that blew, a waterfall that never dried and constantly hummed a happy tune, birds fluttering around posing a million hues was Utopia. The people of Utopia were silent and spoke only when needed - in perfect harmony with the ecology around. A village modestly populated and thrived on its tea cultivation. It was 6a.m. and the sun was up and blazing already. The birds had already left their nests in search of food for the day.
The morning breeze began to blow accompanied by a soft tune. A tune people wished would never cease to be heard. A tune so amorous that kept calling her divine love to come to her faster. Begane baaro.
Vanshika closed her eyes so she could picture him clearly and her breath spontaneously played the tune running in her mind. How well her flute always understood her. Her shift would begin in three minutes. Although her friends started late and took extended breaks, she never would. Because it was in her nature to be true and so had she been all this while. She finished the song, tucked her flute into her gunny bag, put on her gloves and picked her sickle. She was getting to work.
"Why does it have to stop" wondered Vyaas. He was new to Utopia and immediately found a job at the estate. He fell in love with the place the moment he had set foot. Who wouldnt he thought. He came to town all alone. His parents had perished in the flood and the government was kind enough to bring him here. He wanted a job and he relentlessly searched until he found one. He was used to being at work and enjoyed it. He normally left early for work and found the time to get a few stretches. And that was the time he heard it like clockwork. He closed his eyes to let the tune sink in and felt the warmth flow with his blood. He had been hearing the music for a week now and he somehow knew it would be a woman. For he knew, for he felt, that it always called out to him.

A year of Avy n Aki : 1 day to go

Its been a year of ups flats and downs... when we look back, we are thankful to god, for having given us the strength to take us through, for having given us nice people around us, so we could sail through the storm and reach a shore filled with greenery.... It has been a year of firsts for us.. first tears, first ecstatic happiness, first sleepless nights of endless crying, first diaper changes and potty washes, first smiles, first words, first steps, first fall from the bed...

As Avyukth and Akshath complete a year of life and step into many more, we take a moment to humbly thank the entire NICU team for giving them a painful yet strong beginning...

Thank you Gracia and Raji for all the love
, for today we see them smile ear-to-ear...
Thank you Gladys, Subeetha, Shoba, Priya, Deepa, Arivazhagi for the relentless care, for today we have them hold our hands tight,
Thank you Nitisha, Nimisha, Vaideeshwari, Ganga, Jincy, Tina for all the nights that you stood without rest, for today they sleep peaceful and sound,
Thank you Binta, Sowmya, Beaulah, Ramya, Shameena, Devarani for holding their hands from pulling the tubes, for today, they learnt to play with new toys..
Thank you to that one special sister that I missed to name - they have and will learn from you how to love someone and not expect anything back...

Thank you Dr. Kalyani for safely tucking them into their warmers, for today they have seen felt and understood what a home is...
Thank you Dr. Manjula for that soft and reassuring voice that they kept hearing, for today they understand, reciprocate and communicate...
Thank you Dr. Karvendhan for standing by their side and not giving up on them, for today they breathe...

Thank you for having given them something so pure, so infinite... thank you for having been a womb to them for eleven long weeks...

On behalf of the world around Avyukth & Akshath,
Hopie

Rains...!!

When petals sprayed from above,  when the choicest of fireworks displayed, when the drums hummed happiness, someone up there was celebrating.. and someone down here was getting drenched... ☺

Silly weeks : #5 #6 #7 #8

#5 true to the heart
Laugh so much that your ears start to ring, walk so fast so you can see your heart thump against your skin, talk true to what you feel so you can feel your heart lighten, give your best so you know your conscience is satisfied..! Lets join hands to open doors to a week of the best...! Happy week ahead...!

#6 perspective
See whats in front of you and appreciate what you have, look for opportunities and put your best foot forward, observe the criticism well - for you might learn a lot from them, perceive and believe in the right outcome thats waiting for you...!! Take a step into a week of

#7 difference
Let the week bring to us the power of a small lamp - so we evade the darkness and negativity with a single spark, let the week bring to us the power of music - so we transform from silence to joyfulness, let the week bring to us the power of a scent - so we evacuate emptiness and inhale happiness, let the week bring to us the power of words & good deeds - so we make a difference to those in need! Lets enter into a week of a difference! Happy week ahead. . . !

#8 thankfulness
Be thankful for the atmosphere - for we have the right mix of good and bad, be thankful for gravity - for it teaches us to be humble and stay on the ground no matter what we achieve,  be thankful for the four seasons - for we know that dark and cold winters are always followed by a colorful spring,  be thankful for the sun - for it faithfully brings light into our lives!  Lets be thankful this week! Happy week ahead....!